My status as of Dec 2021

Hey, y'all.

 


    I'm currently camping out in my SUV+Trailer out behind my parent's property in the wood. I originally moved down here to Alabama on Dec 2019 to temporarily stay and get back on my feet after a job that burned me out badly. Unfortunately I arrived here right before Covid hit the news. And while I had a bit of a breakdown before the move, the covid and initial isolation afterward made things worse for my state of mind and I had given up on virtually everything I wanted to do in my life. 

    It have been over a year and half since that particular episode. I'm still very unsure of what I want to do with my life. I'm constantly tempted to go back to being fully vegan again but nervous about making sure my nutritions is proper this time around. I'm still just not seeing myself ever owning a traditional house (I just don't care for it). I would love to own some off the grid lands though but just don't see any opportunity for such ever coming up for me. I constantly remember the days I was most at peace with myself specifically and that was when I lived in Colorado Springs and explored the area. Or when I was hiking part of the Appalachian Trail. So I'm still daydreaming of doing that again.

    I'm also constantly disappointed in myself for never really achieving many of the goals I had set for myself throughout my life. But lately I've been learning more and more about myself and realizing that I need help. I might be suffering from a potential thing like Adult ADHD, depression, dissociative identity disorder, or whatever (I try not to self diagnose, just note a similarity in symptoms to these). So I've been wanting to find a therapist. Specifically one's that are Lgbt friendly and are not quite an asshole about accommodating me with my language barrier. I know of some program for the Deaf that'll provide free therapy here in AL but I'm hesitant of starting that when I'm not wanting to stay here in Alabama anymore anyway.

    I'm also struggling with the fact that I never really had the opportunity to really explore and meet people after having came out of the closet. At the time I was stuck in that job that burned me out and then moved to middle of nowhere right when covid hit.

    Which is why I'm now working on moving back to Colorado after being away for 13 years. I have my sister's wedding to attend and photograph this March so I will be staying here in Alabama until then and saving up as much as possible for the move in the meantime.

    In January, I will properly register the trailer I have to my name once I have the trailer light wiring fixed up. I will also need to get my Jeep Liberty serviced some. Also ordering one solar panel. Once that's done, I'll be camping around the southeast until closer to my Sister's wedding in March. I'm trying to teach myself to not advertise where I am at the moment when traveling so I'm not too much of a target (especially in a more conservative areas). Once the wedding is done, I'll drive over to Colorado. I'll stop by my brother's place in Kansas and visit for a bit (there's some free campsites about 30 minutes away).

    Once I'm in Colorado, I have some family living there where I can use their address until I find a proper place to rent at. And yes, I'm suspending my whole nomadic endeavor. For good reason as I need a stable place to live at for therapy and potentially some medical stuff to be done at (got some ear issues and might end up getting cochlear implants for example).

    I've found out about a number of cooperative housings around Colorado and I have to admit, I'm very intrigued by this. I've missed out on a ton of thing in my life and this seems like a good way to provide others with an extra set of hand while learning a ton of stuff myself. Some of them seems social justice focused which I'm interested in too. And quite a few of them have fantastic gardens that I can green my thumb at heh. I just respond FAR better to the energies of the place I'm in if it's positive and interactive  in this way. Just hoping I can snag a spot there and settle in for a year or two to be able to fully take advantage of these therapy and healthcare programs that's far more accessible than what have been my experience here in Alabama.

    And don't worry, I still intend to fully go out and camp, hike, and more. I've already joined a few Colorado groups specifically for this so it'll be a ton of fun! And I'll share it all on my instagram and this site! I'm also joining a few LGBT groups in the state and hopefully this'll improve my social life significantly. Just gotta be Covid conscious and see how other handle this. There's also a bigger Deaf community in the state that I can interact with. And a few people I've known from my last stay there and from elsewhere.

    So honestly, I'm pinning a ton of hope on this move to at the least get me out of this rut and start making progress with my life finally.



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